Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
