Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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