Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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