The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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