it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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