Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
