I need help removing her.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
