fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
