Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
