my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
