who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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