I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
