so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I could make wine with my vomit
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
