Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
