paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
