spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
