I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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