that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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