Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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