i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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