I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
