I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
