She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize