Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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