Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
