Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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