Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
