are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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