We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize