giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
