If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
