i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
