doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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