FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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