somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
