i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
