I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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