I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
