Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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