i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wear drunk well.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
