He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
