those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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