sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
