I wish I only lived at night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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