? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
