someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize