I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
two words...techno handjob
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize