You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
