My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
