flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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