Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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