Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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