He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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